Are you selfless?

The question is can anyone ever be selfless? People do nice things to others, they sacrifice and all that for others but are they really being selfless? I mean what are a persons motives to be selfless? It usually comes from the satisfaction that you are a good person... but isn't that selfish too?
I mean you do nice things because you'd like to think that you are a good selfless person. However, it all comes back to you!! you do it for you! No one really does anything for anyone else without expecting something in return...


Life is a bitch!! you can't do anything without being accused of having other motives!! It's like karma isn't really karma when you expect it!! And fate isn't really fate!!
Oh sure you met this amazing guy and it was fate and all!! well, I've got news for you,, IT WASN'T!! It's all bullshit we tell our selves..
In reality you could have fallen in love with any other guy and still thought it was fate!! Don't get me wrong I still believe in soul-mates and I still think there is a single person for each one of us... But its when you fall in love with a person so deeply that you stop thinking about any other guy that way (or girl :P) That is what having a soul-mate really means
It has nothing to do with your souls really!! or your hearts,, The heart is just a muscle and it's all in your head..


Last night I had this horrible dream about some girl that is in love with the guy I'm in love with... Me and this guy never really talk anymore, we tried too be friends but its too hard.. Anywho in the dream she was being an ass to me and kept on telling me I was UGLY in her own way!! It really didn't bug me, because even for a little while I had what she would kill for!! But did I still have the right to feel that way ??  Was she really meant to be with the guy and I stole her dreams?? She was in love with him long before I knew him!! 
She is still crazy about him!! Does this mean you can never get passed your first true love?? It's taking me more than a year and it still feels unreal to me.... It's like this little part of me still has hope!?!?!
I try not to have hope, but I do!! because I was told waaaay too many fairytales

"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales.

If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales."

~ Albert Einstein

Thanks mom and dad for living by that -_- Oh and a special thanks to my older brother whos fairy tales were the worst and still managed to have a happy ending !!  I mean Einstein was intelligent but did he really have a heart?!?! Did he really think fairy tales and stupid happy endings will make everyone intelligent?? I've got news for you Einstein, when you're in love you you've got no brains left!! and frankly love is bullshit!! It hurts more than it feels good!!

Happy endings are just unfinished stories....We live to have such great expectations of life, that we forget to live and realize that this is all we are ever gonna have!!!! 

LOVE ?!!

Does anyone really know what love is?? Most people would say no. The real questions is, do we all experience love the same way? Even though there is a single word to describe this indescribable feeling I still think every one of us experiences it differently. I mean sure we would all go crazy and do things we never thought we would, some change to the better and others change to the worst.

Love changes people. No matter how hard you try to resist it, it will change you. In my point of you it’s that person you love rubbing on you, or it’s the person you love forcing you to change for them. In the end we all change, which brings me to the point that no one really loves anyone for who they really are. If you did you wouldn’t ask them to change or force them to change, because believe it or not as soon as you’re in love you change, even if its simple changes like actually caring!! Or even spending less time with friends, family, studies and all that. I still believe that this thing we think is so great and amazing, really isn’t!! If each person you had a relationship with (friendship is still a relationship too) changed you the slightest bit, than no one is really who they are.

I admit it my friends changed me!! I wasn’t always this way; I was normal once upon a time. Hard to believe I know! This feeling we have for others is just a way to change us. Some are lucky and end up finding great people that have positive impacts others just go the wrong way.

No one really knows love until they lose it!! Another interesting point is that in some language there is actually more than one word to say love. For example, In Arabic there are seven stages of love, but people often use the lowest stage to express their feelings. It could be ignorance, or it could be that they never think feeling something greater is possible. I could go on for days about love, but maybe some other time ;p

Have I gone numb?

So, I have no idea why i started this blog, I'm not much of a blogger. In my first post I'll tell you a little about my title.

I'm a very sensitive person. Well sensitive is one way to describe it, but at school I was known for being the one that cries most!! I was never really ashamed of it because I'm human and I have feelings that need to be expressed.
The other day I was thinking about how shitty my life has been, until i noticed I haven't cried in over a month!! not a week goes by that I don't cry. What really shocked me most was that I haven't laughed either. I just went to university and this guy was like "we've been friends for few months and I've never even heard you laugh". Could a person really go numb?? I mean sure yeah we all go through bad shit that leave us heartbroken, devastated, over-whelmed and all that crap but do we really stop having emotions??
Nothing anyone can tell me now can make me sad, its like I saw it coming!! on the other hand nothing can make me happy!! I might smile when you say something or whatever but I really don't care!!!
I don't care that you're sad, happy, depressed, hungry, or in love!!
Did everything that I went through in life change who I am?? I loved who I was, but now I don't even know who that is!! I don't even care!

P.s. I'm not emo, and I mean no offence to any emo person....